Adequate Enough

    Am I adequate enough? I ponder this often as a wife, mother, and child of the one true King. The definition of adequate according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is:
                              1. enough
                              2. good enough

Do I as a wife and mother fit this particular bill? Psalm 139:14 in the ESV says: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." If I believe God's word to be truth, then YES I am adequate. I do believe in HIS word and its sovereignty. The lies I tell myself about being inadequate or not good enough are from the devil. The devil seeks to tear us down; since we live in the world Satan uses worldly things to tear us down. For instance we may feel that we don't cook or clean as well as others due to what we see is advertisements, magazines or television.

As a woman I tend to compare myself to other women. This destroys myself confidence. When I allow other people's views to determine how I see myself and not God's word I get crushed. I tend to get caught up in comparing how other mom's parent their children. For example, so and so has it all together because when they are out and about their kids listen so well; she doesn't even have to raise her voice. Being a mom for almost 9 years now I can honestly say that we all have our days. There are days my kids are the angels in Walmart, but there are other days they are the ones screaming in aisle 4. Only screaming because I said no to something not on the list.

It is intimidating to see other women who seem to have the whole exercise thing down. I would like to think that I exercise, but then I see the wife who has 3 plus kids and looks like she could be in high school. I am not thin, and I allow the thoughts of my non-thinness to creep into my mind. I question am I good enough for my husband? Am I still attractive even though I don't have the body I used to have when we first got together. I am reminded to look to God's word for my self worth. His word says over and over again that I am beautiful.

Song of Solomon (SOS) 1:15 says: "Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful." It is so important for me to know this that scripture says it twice in one verse!! Then in the next verse SOS 1:16 the scripture goes on to say: "Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful." So not only and I beautiful, I am delightful!! What wonderful words God has for us. To build us up in Christ, not tear us down. Being a believer in Christ means that I need to find who I am in Him, not in worldly things. I need to look to Him for the answer to my ultimate question, "Am I adequate enough?"

God made us all in His image. He has and will make us beautiful, each in our own way. His word says so. Look in Ecclesiastes 3:11, "He has made everything beautiful in it's time." So my time might not be today, but God's timing is perfect. The scripture says that when God made us, He saw that it was good, very good!! (Genesis 1:31) We as believers in Christ need to remember to look to Him to fulfill our needs. His truth will allow us to know how beautiful, lovely, and wonderful we are. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loves us and tells us in every page of His word.

As a woman of God I need to seek His face so that I may find mine. My beautifully adequate self in my saviour. It is easy to get caught up in the rat race of adequacy living here on planet earth. As a home maker the struggle can be; did I clean enough? Were the meals I prepared liked? and Did I get their favorite piece of clothing washed? Colossians 3:23 says: "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

Being a woman of faith I need to do all my homemaking unto the Lord and I will find I am adequate enough in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Ways I get to impact my family

Being a help meet is different for everyone. In my case I get to stay home with my kids and take care of our home. I know I sound dated. I think it is important not just for my kids that I am home, but for my spouse. He has an advantage by me being home. He knows that our house is always cared for. The laundry is done up, the dishes washed, and the children are in a loving and safe environment. I feel blessed to be able to provide small things for my family. I may not contribute monetarily, but I am able to give somethings that make an impact on their daily lives.

As a help meet I take care of daily needs. This ranges from breakfast all the way to night time baths. Most of my day though is spent being teacher. We are homeschoolers, yes we are those people. Despite the image that has been put on homeschoolers, it is not a bad thing. I teach the same things that children who go to public or private school learn. I just get to be a bigger part of that aspect of their lives. Is everyday easy, NO we have our bad days just like any other. 

What I love about homeschooling is I get to watch my kids grow everyday right in front of me. I love that I get to see progress in real time and focus more on mastering a concept that rushing through our school day. I also have learned that being a teacher in a school setting has to be one of the toughest jobs out there. When I teach my kids its 1:1 ratio, no matter the subject. At school the teacher is 30:1, they are out numbered and not all children learn the same. So to the teachers out there thank you so much!!

Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but I wanted to take time to share how I think it has made a positive impact on our family. Both my kids are eager to learn the eldest is 8 and my youngest is 3. My 3 year old will sit down and try to soak up all the information I am relaying to my 8 year old. The growth I have seen in their interest is amazing. They mention something they would like to learn about and we pack up and head to the library. It is nice to be able to give them extra attention for their interest, not just what is required. 

We don't stay in our pajamas all day, but we don't get up and start when everyone else goes to school either. I school to their needs and learning styles. If you are thinking about giving homeschooling a go, remember each child learns differently and has different interest. This is one way you can be a help meet and have a lasting impact on your family. 

Speaking in Kindness isn't always easy

Proverbs 31:26 says, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." As a help meet I don't always think about what come out of my mouth. I try to be kind, but some times my words come out harshly (I'm still learning). I am pursing this calling of help meet.

How can my words be full of wisdom and kindness? How can I show my husband and kids this part of what I am made to be? The Bible says that God, the Creator of the universe knit me together. (Isaiah 44:2, "Thus says the Lord who made you, who formed you from the womb and will help you:...") 

When I think on the word knit I start to picture picking out my favorite yarns and patterns. God did this with me and all of creation. We are all his favorite and hand knit to reflect his image. 

So by meditation and prayer I can grow closer to God. When I grow closer to God I can begin to show signs of the fruit of the spirit, living inside of me: Kindness is one of these. Through my kindness I can show love. Through my meditation on God's word and prayer I can show wisdom. 

I am an example to my children of what a help meet is and does. As I learn more about being a help meet, I realize I have a need to be  slow to speak so I can use wisdom to choose my words and reactions wisely. My prayer in all of this is that I will use my words in kindness to guide my children and lift up my spouse.  Psalm 34:13 says, "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit."
 

What is a Help Meet?

Hey there!!

 My name is Candace and I am learning to be a help meet! I have been married for almost 9 years now and I am still learning new ways I can be a help meet to my Spouse. Being a help meet is something that I was designed for by nature. So you would think that being a help meet would come naturally. 

Man was I disappointed when I found out that I was going to have to try and learn to be one. What is a help meet you might ask? Let's take a look at God's word so we can get a picture of what He designed a help meet for.We first see the word help meet used in Genesis chapter 2 verse 18;

          "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

Before God put Adam to sleep and created Eve, she was already called to be a help meet. Wow!! God had some big plans for Eve. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary a HELP MEET is defined as: a person who is a companion and helper especially : wife. It sounds easy I am to be a companion to my husband and help him.

 I am in no way perfect nor am I what I would consider a 100% got it all together, help meet. I am just one blessed woman, whom God chose to give a wonderful husband to. (He has a plan for everyone and if you aren't married yet, wait on God, His timing is always perfect and it comes with MR. Right!!) 

The question now on my mind is how do I become the help meet of Proverbs 31? For instance how am I to become far more precious than jewels (verse 10)? Rise while it is still night and provide food for my family (verse 15)? In today's world we are taught that it is all about "ME". When as wives we have been called to be all about our spouse and family. 


As a wife I find my self wanting to be more of whom I am called to be, rather than who I want to be. Being selfish really isn't something a wife or mom can do. It would be easy to choose to be selfish, but when it comes down to it,you know you have to care for others first. In this season of life I am choosing to learn and grown in God's word and His way to be the help meet my husband and kids need.